blogging from home.

I'm walking on sunshine

Whoa! and damn does it feel good! ugh-huh!..... I feel alive, i feel alive, i feel alive!

It's amazing how a little vitamin d can lift a spirit. Man, it is such a beautiful day outside! I always wonder why it is I am in this place (Sandpoint) and then we have days like today and I never question. This is SUCH a beautiful place. I know I am at where I need to be in this point in life and I have faith that all will be well. Giving out some love to you.....

Dear Baby,

i love the way your hair turns colors when in the sunlight. i love the way you turn and smile at me when you figure something out. i love the way your eyelashes brush your eyebrows. i love it when you get gunk in your baby folds. between your toes, your neck, behind your ears. i love the way when you are falling asleep you brush your blankie, or my bathrobe, against your cheek. i love the way you smack my face in the morning to wake me up. and when you smooch me with your slobbery lips and want to eat my face it makes my heart go pitter pat. the way you smile and giggle when i put you to sleep and turn your mobile on, and the way your eyes flutter when i inhale when we are playing- anticipating the big reveal, the way you grunt at me to feed you a little faster... i love it all. i laugh with you, i get excited for you, i revel in the way you love with all of your being. and when you need me, i want you to know i will be there for you.

First Note of the Day.

Always tip your waitress. Let me give you the low down on protocol.

Common courtesy is at least 10%, no matter what. If you receive good service, 15%. If you receive excellent service, anything more than 15%.

It chaps my ass (quite literally I've found) when I work for 7 hours a day and don't get tipped. I work hard, I have a family to feed, house, and cloth. I make a paycheck of $3.35 an hour. You are going out to eat, you have that extra dollar to throw the waitress's way. Come on people. What's the dealio? I expect it out of high schooler's who don't know what it is like to not get tipped. They get everything free at home, why not when they go out too? Grrr.....
On a $3.35 wage, I make enough to maybe pay my electric bill. Help a brother out.

hatemail

I'm dissapointed in America. I'm just going to throw that out there.

Where have your morals gone? I don't even know where to go with this.

My husband recently had a medical issue that required a doctor's attention. Surgical from what I understood. So we went to go see a surgeon. $150. Okay. Let me just pull that out of my ass. I'm hardworking, my husband is hardworking, and we barely scrape by with the cost of living and expenses. I was seriously considering abortion when I found out I was pregnant because I didn't know if I could raise a child in today's world. It's expensive and to me on most days seems like humanity is going down the drain, and I'm sad to say that was taken into consideration.

Anyway, we go see this surgeon whose consultation was a $150, our last $150, because we cannot afford medical insurance. The doctor comes into the room, looks at his issue with one glove, refers us to someone else, writes a prescription for antibiotics and takes our money. okay..... moving on. now we have to ask someone for the money for the antibiotics and his issue is still not resolved. we have to ask for more money to take him to the doctors to temporarily fix the problem. it will be back he still has to see another doctor. issue temporarily solved.

ALL of that happened after we called many clinics to see if they would see him and they refused without insurance or tons of money upfront. (that we didn't have because the first doctor raped us).

I'm dissapointed in America because it's people are suffering and being refused service because the prices are too damn high for reasonable hardworking people to adhere to. It's like saying yeah, you can live here and live the dream if you make a million dollars a year. otherwise we will fuck you over because you don't deserve to have medical attention, insurance, a nice house, blah blah blah.

i understand you work hard you get rewarded and people don't just get handed things. believe me i know. but come on? really?! this is taken way to far. get over yourself because you can't make some fat man happy with green in his pocket. Give the people what they really need.

Rollin' down the street

Back in high school, man, having your own car was the bomb. Your friends always wanted rides, your parents usually supplied the insurance and maintenance, and gas was easy to come by. Well.... usually..... unless you were me. I had a 1986 Ford F150 and I also happened to be staying out at Green Bay alot. It took all the money I had in my paychecks and in my pocket to keep gas in that thing, and that was a $2 something a gallon. No wonder I didn't have a home, I was spending what I would have been paying in rent in gas!

So one day, I couldn't take it anymore! I packed up my stuff and decided I needed new wheels. A Kinetic Moped that got 150 miles to the gallon and topped out at 35 mph. Going downhill.

Man, I loved my moped! That thing and I were the best of buds! It was hard as shit to pedal but cruisin with the little put-put-sounds and the wind in your hair was untouchable. I would load up my cat in the basket in the back, turn up my skip-proof portable cd player and I would cruise downtown.

Those were the days! These days gas is almost $4 a gallon and I only get in the 20 something a mile range. As I was filling my gas tank the other day, I was dreaming of how convenient that moped would be now. I would put my baby in the back as I did my cat, turn my cd player up, and cruise.... if only.... if only....

Pickles and Cheese

Ahhhhh.... The age old question.... Which came first? My vote is on the chicken.

The Most Depressing Story Ever

Little Match Girl. Very short. Very beautiful. Super depressing. It's considered a children's story but I don't know if children would get it. For those of you not able to read it or have not heard of it, it's about a little girl who's father beats her and sends her out on the street so sell matches. She's barefoot and shabbily clothed in the dead of winter. She doesn't want to go home because she hasn't sold any matches so she stays out. She lights a match and sees a turkey dinner in a well lit room on a table with food packed around it. She lights another and sees her grandmother who has been kind to her but passed on some time ago. She keeps lighting the matches to keep her grandmother there because she is being held and loved by her. Then people walk by in the morning and find the little match girl dead in the street with a box of burned matches by her side. That's it. The whole story is like two pages long and it's sad for the rest of eternity. I don't know why out of all the things I could have blogged about, I blogged about this one......

Mirrored Images

This is a fractal. I have been facinated by them since Advanced Math in 7th grade. A fractal is a fragmented geometric shape which is a copy of a whole, indefinetly. Meaning, you look into each of these designs inside and it's an exact copy of the large that goes on forever. Like Pi (3.14159.......etc), it's neverending.

I stayed "up late" with my husband last night and was pondering on the universe and everything it encompasses and the main focus was, "what would my thought process look like if every possible outcome was branched off into another? What kind of fractal would it be?"

I have this theory that everything goes in cycles. Circles persay. Everything breaks down to the same point you started at. The best example I can think of without too much detail is fashions. They cycle through and keep coming back to each other. The infinity symbol is a continuous circle. So when pondering this idea I think ultimately my branched thought processes would be circular but I'm super curious as to what the inside would look like.

The human brain intrigues me as well. It's limitless and freightening. If I could put onto paper everything I thought in the order I thought it, the papers would be endless. To think the majority of adults only use a small portion of their brain matter at any given time. (And some people you can tell only use a small portion....) That's pretty amazing.

Think about things on a larger scale. Can you? Think about past, present and future simultaniously. Is it possible?

Look how far civilization and technology has come in the last 100 years. Look where we are now. What will it be like in the next 100 years? just our generation alone has seen leaps and bounds. For instance cell phones. We were pretty young when they came out and they were the sizes of suitcases and now you can fit a whole computer, telephone, and camera set up in something the size of a watch. Amazing. I'm truely curiously terrified of what the human mind can think of, invent and execute and what that holds for us in the future. Leaps and bounds mankind. Leaps and bounds.

High five humankind! Right on!

Thought of the Day

How much wood could a woodchuch chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?