Here's the deal today, I am sick of seeing accesory babies. You know the ones. The teen moms that have babies just to show them off, the mothers who have more children for a bigger tax return, the moms who keep having children for benefits or welfare, the moms that have kids just for having kids. Just to have them. The moms who let their children walk all over them and get their way. They remind me of little purse dogs like Paris Hilton's. STOP HAVING CHILDREN.
Some points are justifiable. I'm talking about the extreme cases. I'm a mom. And a damn good one at that! I'm on medicaid and food stamps, that's fine. But I'm not taking advantage of them either. I know kids can be hyper and unmanagable at times, I am talking about when it's a regularly occuring sometimes every day all the time deal. I also recognize that at the end of the year you receive a bonus BUT you spend way more of that on your children on any given year, especially when they get older and want cooler things. I see all of this. I'm venting about the PLAYERS of the system.
For one, it makes me sad when children have children. A child to me is someone with a child's mentality. Not necessarily age. I know some very mature 19 year olds. A 30 year old can be a child. 15, 16 and 17 year olds should not be having children in my opinion. They need to live their lives and gain some wisdom to pass to their children when they have them. I'm 25 and I don't feel like I'm old enough to have children.
I have the utmost respect for younger adults and adults who step up to the plate and be great parents. It takes alot. Especially for the teenagers who have children. I wish I could tell them how much I appreciate the hard work they put into forming their little humans.
And then there are those who make me sick. They have nothing to offer a child. A stable home, an education, LOVE*, the wisdom to know right from wrong, attention, cleanliness. There was a lady who did a little video blog about keeping your child clean and clothed (the most basic of needs) and made a few really good points. You don't have to have running water to take a shower or sponge bath, and there is no reason for your children to be without jackets or socks in the middle of winter. The community happily provides these services and some just don't care. NEGLECT IS A FORM OF ABUSE. A minor form, which I have come to understand, IS NOT justifiable enough to remove children from parents' care into someplace better. Sad, but sometimes it really just needs to be done.
How can these children grow and learn how to read if the parent's don't sit down and read to them, work with them, don't care to learn to read themselves? Or write? Somehow I feel the educational system is slack on this as well as the parents. It makes me twitch to see the most basic words, not because of laziness, spelled constantly wrong. (know spelled no, tomorrow/tomarrow, etc.) How can they learn discipline when [you] let them watch themselves? Just feed them a bottle and come back in an hour to check on them..... that's a great plan! Responsibility if they don't pick up their things? Patience if they aren't made to wait? Cleanliness if you don't clean them? Attention if they don't listen? Structure if they aren't given any? Respect if people's boundaries aren't set?
I always feel like a tyrant whenever children come over to my house. It's not unknown for me to say,"don't touch that" or "don't jump on that" "pick up your toys" "put that away".... I usually try to say please but after 45 times( or for me 3 or 4) I start to get irritated. I always warn children ahead of time and always state a consequence and follow through. This is me setting MY boundaries for myself and for my household. You don't stand on books, you don't touch the mianiature models, you don't jump over my couch, you don't get into my food without asking first. Always say please, thank you, you're sorry, and don't talk back to your mother. These are things I feel are easy things to commit to memory and to do on any given day. It should be common sense. I don't feel I am asking for much. CHILDREN SHOULD ALREADY DO OR NOT DO THESE THINGS. Most do, especially when I am around.... because my boundaries are set.
With that subject breached, I don't feel I am hard to love or like and I am always willing to give my love and hugs whenever one is presented. I laugh alot and I feel children like me. I certainly love them but I am not willing to comprimise my values for those not willing to respect them.
I was raised with the basic of courtesies drilled and harshly overdone into my head, but I will tell you what.... it sure as shit worked. I'm not against spanking, why, I'm all for it because there is a fine line between spanking and beating your children and most people are afraid to go even remotely near it, but some children just NEED it. This leads back to parenting.
I will tell you I am honestly so scared of the future for these children I often cry. It literally brings me to tears to see what the future will hold for these children and future parents if common courtesy and respect are a dying art. There is always room to improve on the goodness of humankind, all I ask is that you take a good look around you and do everything you possibly can do to provide what your child needs in every aspect of the way, because THAT is what being a parent is all about. YOU are molding the minds of our future's leaders and examples, so set a good one for both them and others.
*LOVE- more than just feeding, housing and clothing your child. It's hugging and smooching. It's reading to your child, laughing, playing, listening with and to your child. It's being there whenever they need you, for any thing large or small. Keeping your child alert, behaved, hungry for education and experiences, etc.
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